Neither Here nor There

Over the past several days, an uneasiness has swept over me. I am beginning to realize both the certainty and uncertainty of next year. Yes, I am going to college. But I am not going to college in the way that I expected. I never considered taking a semester off and now that I am presented with the opportunity, I am not sure what to do. Going to school is so concrete and without it, I feel a bit lost. The possibilities seem endless, and I don’t know where to start. Work? Intern? Study abroad? Sing?

It makes it a bit more complicated because I am constantly reminded of why I need to leave home. Telephone conversations, burnt vegetables, and questions all keep me back. I can firmly say that I love my family but living together has become a bit harsh. Will I go insane if I stay another semester at Baker’s Acres?

Then again leaving home for places other than my college is really daunting for me. There is such a support system built in for college but going other places is like tight-rope walking with not safety net. I know somewhere inside that I’ll be fine whatever I do but I will be the first to admit that it is scary. Yes, it’s scary.

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