All Hail FedEx in Three Languages!

This morning at 10:26AM, I received a call from a man speaking frantically in Mandarin. Hmm. My personal rule when in these situation: get them talking in Cantonese. Upon completing that task, I hear that my package of scripts and scores has again been sent back to local FedEx facility in Shantou. This is the third day that the package has been rolling around in some truck only to be denied of its rightful belonging to this pair of hands. So, I get wind of this by some frantic guy from the University. I’m like well that’s it…it’s going to be returned to Japan. Darn it. The guy on the phone is asking me to call to stop the return of the package. I’m like, “Who am I going to call? Ghostbusters?” Even if I find the number for FedEx much less the number for Shantou FedEx, how am I going to communicate with them?

So, I go to the FedEx website. I click:

Country > China > Language > English > Tracking # > 8486 2090 8000 > “At FedEx Facility, Incorrect Address, Return to Sender”

Ouch. Therefore:

Customer Service > Southern China > 86-20-87632866

I dial that up on Skype and get an trilingual recording in Mandarin, Cantonese, and English. Woah, cool. So I stay on the line for a representative who answers the phone in Mandarin switching to Cantonese and then switching again to English upon realizing who the caller is. I give my name as “Ryan” and he henceforth calls me “Mr. Ryan” throughout the entire call. We clear up the matter and the agent sticks to script with a friendly to finish, “is there anything else I can help you with today, Mr. Ryan.” Well now that you mention it, I need a massage and some tea, if you don’t mind.

The package arrived this afternoon. See below.

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